Reply With QuoteJust agree with her and do the opposite thing after that?
Brought my wife to Teo's Plant Farm last weekend. I thought maybe to 'educate" her a bit on how things are done on the wholesale side. And also to get more plants. Thanks to Michael Lai to show the way the first time!
"Problem" started when wife started to have her own opinion what the tank should look like and contain what plants. She had her own opinion what plant look "nice". Luckily for me, Teo's owner? helped out by saying that is not suitable, not easy to grow etc. Wifey even suggested throwing out the (I think) Aponogeton and the nanas and crypts because she thinks they are "ugly" and not "ngam". (Michael, the plant with wavy leaves, is it Aponogeton madagascariensis ?) Luckily, none of that happened errr... due to my stubborn personality.....
Then next to Gan's Aquarium. Then the usual thing about which fishes look nice and not so nice.
Guys, do you have this kind of problems in your hobby and how do you respond and not get into a too difficult position.....
Last edited by benny; 5th Jul 2006 at 11:23.
Just agree with her and do the opposite thing after that?
furry plant grower
Mine has her own tank to keep her own fishes (Big ones that will eat mine for breakfast) and her own plants.
I do the maintenance, the planting, the feeding, the paying... and the answering when her fish die or her plants got algae.
Aquascaping and plant selection ideas are also hers. She art direct, I execute.
Oh and she gives names to her fishes.
This way, I have peace.
PS: and 5 tanks in the house, not counting hers. Shhhh not so loud.
Warm regards,
Lawrence Lee
brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.
Philippians 4:8
Welcome to marriagehood, if you happen to miss the welcoming party.So far, my wife leave me to my own devices on how the tank should look, as I at least know more than she does.
Compromise.
Don't like it? Don't get married.
I avoid my hobby to my significant other at every turn, they get very curious, but if they are interested, they will get involved on their own terms.
Better to have an ally than someone who hates all the time you put into the hobby and nags you about that when you could be out doing something else she/he deems more productive.
It's not a gal thing, gals complain about their guys in a similar way.
Husbands get roped into building all sorts of cabinets, stands, tanks, help etc.
I personally do not want her in my hobby.
You might.
You cannot blame them though, you are, after all, very interested in and want other folks to share it also.........but how much you share with the other 1/2 is up to you.
Regards,
Tom Barr
@ aquastuff.org
Hey Eric,Originally Posted by sfchung
Haha looks like what you said came true huh?
Personally my fiancee (future wife come November) does not like the idea of me even having a fish tank and since I have one, she gives her opinion and feedback and some of it I do take, some I just explain to her the impossiblities (try to fake it).
After seeing both our inputs on the tank, she liked it and after which everything else was left to me.
One good way is to get your wife to help you with the cleaning. That'll definitely put her off.
visit my photo albums @ flickr!
Mine, was against from day one but when friends drop by she would tell them he put alots of energy to it so you better appreciate it.
i would rather my wife contribute and hopefully get her hands "dirty" with me over our tanks.
this way, she cannot complain not enough time spent on her.
her inputs are considered and implemented if she insists.
the end outcome, be it good or bad, will let her know where she went wrong or where i can learn from.
sometimes, the wifey may get it right more than wrong,
give them a chance, they just want to spend time with us
Cheers,
Melvin Lim
Yippie!! Reptiles and Fishies!
Melvin.. that last sentence explains it all..
Give them a chance not to view the tank as an object of time spent away from them.. but something that her comments are welcomed into if she wants to. However, since she knows less than you do.. she should also be gracious if her comments dont make sense or are taken into heed. Its not that we dont value their comments but if i were to make a comment like ; take off 2 wheel from your car and drive.. it lightens your car and so you should be able to go faster. Would any of you listen?
sometimes its not that we dont value or give a dam about their comments its just...well... illogical.
@ aquastuff.org
Oo. BTW, I made mine a nano tank to place in her office. So she's beginning to appreciate my hobby now and styled the tank to her needs.
Still.. maintainence, etc is done by me.
visit my photo albums @ flickr!
Hmmm...It looks like we have a wide range of wife handling techniques here. From don't touch to high touch. Grey Fox seems to have wife-to-be assimilated into the hobby. Is she going to sign up here as member as well?
@ aquastuff.org
definitely not for sure, [I'd strike the 4D if she does] she's too busy with work to even sign up for anything else but yes, the education of this hobby is part of the process.
Comes in the package together with me.
visit my photo albums @ flickr!
Look like everyone is facing the same "problem" but "severity" at different degree. Lucky me the Mrs just left me alone to my hobby but with occasional input of her opinion/question which I try to adopt (if it is workable)/"educate".
I'm now in the long process of applying the "license" to set up a second tank. So wish me good luck.
Don't be afraid of my duck!
Ask whether they prefer you spending time on the tank at home (on in the LFS/farm) or at other 'fishtanks'....
be careful, my "license" for a 2nd tank seems to be attached to mood of the misses - one day: ok lor; another: NO!
Last edited by dream; 29th Jun 2006 at 11:03.
same same lah. That why I have been "applying" for a year without any definite answer
Any remedy?
I agree with you budak...
At least the husbands are home in front of the fish tank rather than hovering outside some other tanks in Geylang...
Yippie!! Reptiles and Fishies!
teach you... on the day her mood says "ok".. dont miss the opportunity.. Just ignore all the other days she said "no" before and on that very day when you got the "yes"... go buy one.. then she will have nothing to say..
This is what reallly happened to my friend. He used to spend time at BIG 'tanks' before he was into normal sized fish tanks... From everyday not at home to everyday at home after office hours.
@ aquastuff.org
hahahahaha
visit my photo albums @ flickr!
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