1) Depending on how big your tank is. Apistos only get aggressive towards tank mates when they breed. Many of us have plecos, otos in our apisto tanks. Moreover, saes are fast swimmers, should not be a problem. And if your apisto breeds, remove the sae to ensure fries don't get eaten up.
2) Usually, only the female will use the pots. They like to spawn in the pots as it acts like a cave for them. Since females are much smaller then males, pots as small as 4cm diameter is sufficient for most of the female species. You get get those bigger spawning caves from Starpet. Easily available from our LFS.
3,4) Check to see if they are healthy. Visible disease, injury, sunken belly, frail looking apistos are a no no. Check your water condition. Even healthy apistos can drop dead quickly if water is not right.
Eugene (^_^)
De Dwergcichlide Fanatiek
Now swimming: Plecos and Apistogrammas
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